The Fight is For Them
“For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.” -Psalm 27:10
Child abandonment. My heart will never understand it. Yet it happens to hundreds of children every week across this tiny Caribbean island.
Our organization has a small creche; an orphanage licensed for adoptions. We believe that God created children for family, not institutional living, and so we decided early on that our creche would not be a place where children grew up, but would be a safe, loving home of healing for the in-between time. We are a temporary family until children can return to their biological families, or become adopted into a forever family. We regularly receive knocks at the gate or phone calls from the police and social services asking to place abandoned babies and children with us. I can think of many times when we are just sitting down to a meal, or rushing out the door to run an errand when the phone call comes in.
“A newborn was left in a hospital.”
”A baby was found in a ravine.”
”A child was left on the street.”
”Can you come get them?”
“Yes!” Meals get cold, and errands are left undone. The life of that child becomes our priority. Often times, we prayerfully name the child, because they come to us nameless. We guess their birthdays the best we can based on umbilical cord healing, size, development, and teeth. And I often whisper:
Where have you come from?
What have you been through?
Your Heavenly Father loves you.
And now we do too.
“Father to the fatherless, defender of widows— this is God, whose dwelling is holy.” Psalm 68:5
“He will never give up on you. Never forget that.'“ - 1 Corinthians 1:9
“…And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” - Matthew 28:20
How could a mother abandon her own child? From the outside, it is easy to question their hearts and point fingers at what seems to be a lack of love and compassion. The difficulty in finding the root of the problem is that once the child is abandoned, there is little information to go on. There is no one to ask what they were thinking or what their reasons were. However, I know a few things to be true.
Mothers are not heartless.
Pain and trauma can cause a person to do unthinkable things.
The fight isn’t against these mothers. The fight is for them.
We have had friends and staff members catch mothers on the street abandoning or threatening to abandon their child(ren). Many of these mothers have found healing and redemption, and are fighting for their families with newfound strength. What changed?
Our friends and staff members invited them to come sit down with my husband and I and have a conversation before they made this drastic decision; one they cannot turn back from. These conversations typically look something like this.:
A hurting woman walks in the gate, head down, not wanting to make a lot of eye contact, with a baby in her arms.
We invite her to sit in the gazebo and offer her something to eat and drink, which she gladly accepts.
We ask her to tell us about her situation. She begins sharing, looking down at the floor and anxiously shuffling her feet around. It often boils down to sexual abuse and/or not having a place to sleep at night.
We ask, “If you had a job or steady income, would you want to keep your baby?”
She responds “Yes”, and we see the first spark of hope enter her eyes.
We explain our job creation program, Gift of Hope, and the various positions of becoming a seamstress, a jewelry artisan, or receiving a micro-loan to begin a small business selling food, clothing, or hygiene products on the street.
As we talk, she begins holding her child closer and closer to her chest. She begins making more eye contact, and often shows a glimpse of a smile or two.
If her baby is sick, we provide care for the child, or advocate for the best possible care.
If the baby is not sick or malnourished, the mother walks out the gate with newfound confidence, a new support system, and her baby held tightly in her arms.
Every mother except one, in the last four years since we opened Gift of Hope, has said “Yes, I would want my child if I had a job and could care for them.” A 45-minute conversation and the opportunity for a job preserves a family.
Now this is where your part comes in. I wouldn’t tell you about the tragedy of poverty orphans and child abandonment if you couldn’t do something about it! You have the power to play a huge role in family preservation. If you are ready to fight alongside us, you can do so right now from your couch, bed, or office chair.
Surely you have someone you need to buy a gift for. A teacher, a friend, a mom, a graduate, or maybe you deserve a little something special for you? This really isn’t a sales pitch. It’s a genuine solution.
If you don’t need to buy something, you could make a donation:
- support a micro-loan for a donation of $250
- support seven women in our family planning program for $30 a month
You are needed. You are part of the solution. It’s okay to let your meal get cold or leave an errand undone to take a few moments and prioritize a vulnerable family and a child who could be the next one labeled abandoned.
His Kingdom come, His will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
